Speak up, you may not be alone

By: Lyssa

When I was 5 years old I was molested by my grandfather. My family only found out after we watched a scary movie and my mom said see that’s why you don’t lie to your parents and at that point I told her my secret she called the cops my moms family didn’t believe us and continued to see him and bring their kids around him for years. A lot happened right after this my grandmother died, my parents got divorced, my dad had a baby on the way with my new step mom and we moved twice. But after moving the second time things finally started to calm down until my grandfathers case finally reached the courtroom when I was 9 I had to tell them everything that happened with words kids at my age weren’t suppose to use and I wasn’t allowed to use substitute words. In the end he was charged on 4 accounts yet only saw house probation. My mother’s sister reached out a few years later and told her that she suspected something happened with her children as well and they started to talk again. I started finding confidence in my body again but later when I was about 13 my mom had remarried and went on a trip to new Mexico with my step dad and his father stayed and watched me and my sister. I woke up one morning before my sister and came out to the living room Wearing my shorts becuase it was summer and he was on the couch I sat on the other end and I don’t want to go into detail but it happened again but this time I didn’t speak up I saw what it did to my family when I was young I blamed myself for my mom being a stranger from her family and my parents divorce not to mention the system had failed me there was no justice with my grandfather. About a year or two later I was talking with my cousin and she came clean to me about what happened with her and my step dads father, I didn’t know It was happening to her too so I came clean as well and decided to tell my mom to put an end to the cycle. A lot went down but in the end he turned himself in And he went to jail. It took me awhile to heal from everything but I never fully healed from it I couldn’t wear shorts like other kids Instead I would wear big jackets becuase of how uncomfortable I was with my body which lead to many more insecurities and eating habits and such not to mention to this day I’m still not comfortable around old men but if I have learned anything from this experience It’s that we have to speak up if not for ourselves then for someone else who may be the next victim. if we can stop the cycle we can save our family, our friends, and our children from ever knowing this pain.