Updated: Oct 15, 2020
Hey! My name is Sebastian Scales and I was molested by my best friend’s dad from ages 8-10.
(People often ask me why I let it go on for so long. And uh..
It’s because I was 8.
8 year olds don’t have a rational thought process.
Sometimes when I was getting molested, I would get boners.
And I thought that if I told my parents, they would confront my molester, and was going to admit what happened, and say yeah I did, but he got boners, he liked it. And that was going to be the end of it. I thought people would think I was gay.
I thought I would lose my friend.
Many reasons factored into why I didn’t speak up for a long time.)
When I eventually told my parents what happened, we had to go to court, and the guy didn’t get convicted. Unfortunately there wasn’t any hard evidence, despite other kids testifying that they saw him come into our room late at night on multiple occasions (and other things)
The way our judicial system is set up, it’s rare to get molestation convictions without witnesses having seen it happening.
I had to testify in front of 50 adults, including the guy who molested me (ridiculous that the right to confront your accuser holds in child cases).
After the trial,
I basically didn’t talk about it until I was 22 and did Stand-up Comedy for the first time. I did a set about my molestation experience, and afterwards felt the most unbelievable feeling of freedom from these emotions I’d suppressed my whole life.
I ran through the streets of New York yelling and crying happy tears of release. It was so cathartic.
It was then that I realized that talking (and sometimes laughing) about your experience empowers you and allows you to face these fears that we hold inside for so long. Fears about how I’d be perceived and judged for my experience.
Talking about it allows us to begin unpacking what happened.
Now I can’t stop talking about it.
It went from something that I was afraid to talk about to a topic that feels more empowering every time I talk about it.
I’ve started a podcast called “What happened to you?” Where I share my story and interview other people about the experiences they’ve been through.
From child molestation to double parental suicide,
Everyone’s got something. We’re not alone. And together we can not only heal ourselves, but heal others along the way.
Thank you for reading. Love,