Long story short, I was raped by my father, my brother and other men my dad let rape me. I’m sharing this coz for the longest time I thought I must be crazy. How could one person have so much happen to them. I’m 35 now and have had ample time to reflect and I still don’t have an answer as to why or how. And I think that is the biggest question I have. How can a parent make a choice, daily, to violate their own child and then also watch and invite others to violate their child.
I was 4 when it started and 20 when it ended. The 15 years since have been bittersweet. Now having 3 kids of my own and no longer having a relationship with my father, I’m constantly being forced to process some aspect of the trauma. I thought maybe one day it would go away like most memories but for now I think these are here to stay and maybe that’s okay (?)