Well this is all new to me. I don't think I would have ever been writing or speaking about what happened to me until I saw Sebastians Tik Tok and immediately started to listen to the podcast. I was in awe of his braveness to talk about it and being so young and what he had to go through gave me a little courage so here it goes...... I started getting molested by my grandfather as early as I can remember 9 yrs old. I always have this thought in my mind if it was earlier or when i was a baby if he did anything but 9 was when it first started that i remember. It's funny (well not really) but Sebastian talks about grooming and it is so right. My grandparents would come to visit every weekend. We lived in Boston and they lived in Worcester so every weekend they would come and stay with us. He would always bring me and my brothers candy he would give us money. We loved fruit so he would always bring us grapes. And that's what he did now I know he was just getting me ready. I am 37 yrs old now So I can't even remember how if first started or when was the first touch but he would literally carry me by giving me a piggy back ride and we would literally finger me! (ouch that's graphic) He would touch my boobs. That's what he would always do finger me or fondle my boobs. I was already developing and this would go on for years till even a teenager. I always had urine infections now I know why. He even tried to touch me again when I was 19 that I was even pregnant that's when i yelled and pushed him away. I use to hate when my parents would leave us over there but i couldn't say anything because I didn't want to hurt my mother. that was her father. That would've devastated her. And my Dad would probably be in jail because he would flip! I grew up in a Christian household my parents were pastors and I know for a fact that has kept me from a lot. My faith is so strong and I know God has always been there for me every step and every tear of the way. I personally didn't get to tell my parents. When I got pregnant with my daughter that's when all these feelings started to come. I don't remember being young and being depressed or sad. I literally just numbed it out like totally. We had a good childhood but I guess I had too because again that was my moms father. But when i got pregnant I ended up telling my husband and he told my dad!!! Uggghh I never wanted to tell them but it is what it is. My dad confronted me and I confirmed it. And he had to tell my mother which was super devastating for her. We ended up having a meeting with them which he denied and my grandmother was saying why were you next to him if he did that to you. I resented her for that. It was the worst meeting ever mind you I was pregnant. It was pretty bad. My Parents and i spoke about telling law enforcement and what we should do but we decided no too because he was old and on dialysis. My poor parents I feel so bad. They ended getting counseling but I never did cause i really didn't want to talk about it and I always say I am fine. Lol. Let me tell you God is good and God is real. I ended up pretty civilized even though I've done my share of dumb things but I was never an addict drank or did any drugs. I was a little promiscuous as a teen started having sex at a young age but now I know that just came hand in hand with molestation. Let me tell you all If i even tell you guys some other things that happened to me by other people you will not believe me. That'll maybe be another time. I know God has plans for me and the enemy has tried to take me down but not today. If any of you who is reading this is a non believer just know God loves you and he is waiting with open arms for you to surrender to him. Thanks for reading my story! Hope this helps someone speak about what happened to them. I know Sebastian has for me :-) BTW my grandfather passed away maybe a year after...He never saw my child when she was born just saying :- ) God bless you all who read my story !